Chapter Navigation

• Introduction
• What the Bible Says
  • About Modesty
  • About Lust
  • About Stumbling a Brother
• The Logical Inconsistencies
• The Common Teaching
• The Principle and The Application
• Don’t Hear What We’re Not Saying
• Final Summary

Introduction

We want to preface this chapter by first clarifying that the intention of this chapter is not to tell you what clothes to wear or what clothes not to wear. We aren’t even going to tell you what we wear or what we don’t wear. But what has occurred as we have delved into this study is a realization that the emphasis on women’s modesty for purity in the church has been wrongly applied and as a result has been harmful to both women and men. 

We believe that the Bible is the authoritative, inerrant word of God. In this chapter, we are going to look in depth at what scripture says about modesty and lust. We will talk about the Greek words and how important it is that the words are read and translated as they were understood at the time they were written. We will also talk about the context that surrounds the verses on modesty. It matters. 

We also believe that since God created the universe to follow logical patterns, that logic itself is from God. Because of this, we will attempt to understand scripture logically and evaluate if the typical teaching on modesty follows logic. In many cases, we are going to draw out the logical and biblical inconsistencies. 

What we do not want is for you just to take our word on this. Please look at scripture for yourself. Please take the time to consider the logic and the language of the Bible. Please compare what the Bible says, not just to other people who teach on the topic of modesty, but also to what we say. We hope this chapter will encourage you to dig into the word and deeply consider this issue.

The typical teaching on modesty is: Women should dress modestly for the sake of Christian men, to keep them from stumbling. The passages used as justification for this are the verses on not stumbling a brother (found in the gospels, Romans, and 1 Corinthians) and the verse where Paul instructs Christian women to dress modestly (found in 1 Timothy). But we believe these verses are inappropriately applied to this teaching. 

What the Bible Says

What the Bible Says about Modesty

When teaching is given to women on how to ensure they are non-seductive, teachers/pastors use 1 Timothy 2:9-10. It looks like this verse is saying that women should cover their boobs and not wear jewelry. But does it? Please note that unless otherwise stated, all scripture is quoted from the ESV Bible and all bolded font is used to show our emphasis.

“likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

Taking verses 9-10 in context gives a much broader picture. These verses are the second part of an instructive passage about the church’s heart in worship, which in turn is part of a whole letter on how the church should love without pride or selfishness. A verse cannot be pulled out of it’s chapter and then given its own meaning in isolation. A verse needs to be looked at in the context of the verses around it, the chapters around it, and the purpose of the entire book.

Context at the book/chapter level: 1 Timothy is a letter that Paul wrote to Timothy while Timothy was teaching at the Ephesian church. Paul states his reason for writing this letter in chapter 1. He says to Timothy: 

remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith.  The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. (1 Timothy 1:3-5)

Paul states that the church’s stewardship (their work) is to come from love out of a pure heart, good conscience, and sincere faith. This is how the church is to do God’s work. But Paul is going to be pointing out later that the Ephesians’ current practices are unloving. He will correct the Ephesians’ lack of love and point them back to God. The word translated “love” is the Greek word “agape”. This word is defined by the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, it “is patient, kind, does not envy or boast, is not arrogant or rude, and does not insist on its own way.”

Love [agape] is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

At the end of the letter, Paul summarizes again the reason he is writing this letter: He wants the Ephesians to be focusing on God’s work. 

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.  They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share,  thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life. (1 Timothy 6:17-19)

Everything that Paul says in the letter, including chapter 2:9-10, needs to be understood in the context of this purpose: the church is to do good works out of love. Between these bookend statements, Paul will contrast the Ephesians’ pride and selfishness with the love they are called to live.

Context at the verse level: Remember, one of the aspects of practicing agape love is to not practice arrogance. In the verses surrounding and including 1 Timothy 2:9-10, Paul is encouraging the Ephesian believers to conduct themselves out of humility. He rebukes their pride and he instructs them how to act out of love instead. The instructive section starts in verse 1:

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,  for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior,  who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.  For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle (I am telling the truth, I am not lying), a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth. I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. (1 Timothy 1:1-10)

First the Ephesians are told to pray for all kinds of people, there is no group from which they can exempt themselves from praying. No group is any less deserving of the Ephesians’ prayer than any other. All groups matter equally to God. To pray for all equally is part of loving all equally.

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,  for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior,  who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.  For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle (I am telling the truth, I am not lying), a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth. I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. (1 Timothy 1:1-10)

The Christians’ obedience to pray for all people aligns their hearts with God’s heart and His desire for all people to be saved. 

Next, Paul moves from addressing the hearts of the whole church to addressing the hearts of the men. 

I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. (1 Timothy 1:8-10)

This is similar to the structure Jesus used in his sermon on the mount. Jesus talks about the outward action first, then explains that it is really the heart that matters because ultimately, all outward actions come from the heart’s desires. To honor God, our hearts must be aligned with his.

Here Paul also connects actions and hearts,as he too wants to see the believers’ hearts aligned with God’s heart. 

The men’s action: praying

The men’s heart: peace without anger or quarreling (part of agape love)

Then Paul addresses the women: 

I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. (1 Timothy 1:8-10)

Paul addresses the women first by saying “likewise”. This is a word used to show sameness between one concept and another. If the word “likewise” is used correctly, we should expect to see the same pattern of addressing both the desired actions and the heart behind the action; the same pattern Paul used when addressing the men. And we do!

The women’s action: good works

The women’s heart: modesty, humility (part of agape love)

Though Paul speaks separately to the men and women, he is ultimately telling them the same thing, to live in agape love. Yes, the men and women have different areas of love in which to grow, but love is their ultimate goal. 

But what if Paul is telling the women to demonstrate God’s heart of love by dressing modestly for men?

Did you know this word translated “modesty” only appears once in the entire Bible? We were also surprised since whole books are written about women and modesty. 

The word translated modesty is the Greek word: aidōs/aidous (Αἰδώς)

Since we couldn’t look to other verses to help get an understanding of the meaning of this word, we looked at how the word is used in Ancient Greek. 

Aidos (Greek: Αἰδώς, pronounced [ai̯dɔ̌ːs]) was the Greek goddess of shame, modesty, respect, and humility. Aidos, as a quality, was that feeling of reverence or shame which restrains men from wrong.

Wikipedia contributors. “Aidos.” Wikipedia, 12 Jan. 2022, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aidos.

There seem to be two aspects to this word, one of humility and one of conscience (shame which would restrain you from wrong). The modesty/humility that defines this word is not about clothing. It is about not living in extravagance.  In modern terms, the word could be used in this sentence: I live in an “aidōs” home. I live in a modest (not extravagant) home. 

Paul’s contrast between what he wants the women to be and what they currently are is: “be modest, not extravagant.” The contrast here helps define the word.

But how do we know that Paul is talking about extravagance and wealth here? We know because he continues to address the Ephesians’ extravagance and pursuit of wealth later in the letter. This is one of the areas that Paul is focused on in his correction of the Ephesians’ behavior. We see this rebuke in 6:6-10. 

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (1 Timothy 6:6-10)

The pursuit of riches and extravagance is a snare that is pulling the Ephesian women away from God. Paul never veers into the topic of sexual enticement, his focus is on their pride. Paul is trying to point them back to the practice of humility from a heart of love.

Although in English we hear the word modest to mean covering up/being non-sexy, it is absolutely key to understand that this is not what the word aidōs meant when Paul was writing. Paul is NOT telling the women to cover up and keep body parts from being exposed. He is actually telling them something much more profound: he is telling them how to be aligned with the heart of Christ in humility.

Even though this verse is not talking about being seductive, there is a seductive woman in scripture (Proverbs 5 and 7). It should be noted before we look at the details of what makes this woman seductive, these chapters are mainly poetic. The adulterous woman is the personification of sin. Lady Wisdom is the personification of God’s Word. In each of the sections in Proverbs 5-7, Solomon begins by encouraging his son to heed his instruction. This is especially important because this is the context that informs the sections about the adulterous woman. Wisdom, found through instruction, speaks what is right and draws the listener closer to God. The adulterous woman speaks words of seduction and draws the listener away from God.

Often the adulterous woman is thought of as being seductively dressed and enticing with her body, but she actually entices the young man with her words. The woman begins her seduction subtly, intentionally using her speech to draw the man to her. Then she pounces on him. But at no point is the focus on the way the woman presents her body or flaunts herself.

For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil (Proverbs 5:3)

to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words. (Proverbs 7:5)

She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him (Proverbs 7:13)

With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. (Proverbs 7:21)

to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes (Proverbs 6:24-25)

There is one more verse that does specifically mention her clothing. But even in this verse, the emphasis is on the intent of her heart: 

And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart (Proverbs 7:10)

What is dangerous about this woman is not how her body appears. Based on the emphasis of these verses, the warning is to guard against words and ideas that draw one away from God, and to pursue and listen to words that draw us closer to God.  Wisdom describes herself for all of chapters 8 and 9, and she goes into great detail about what sets her apart and makes her better than Folly, the seductive woman. But as she contrasts herself with the seductive Folly, Wisdom never remarks on clothes or appearance. What Wisdom does remark on is the difference between her speech and Folly’s speech.

We so often hear from our teachers that the seductive woman in Proverbs is seductive based on her clothing. We encourage you to take a look for yourself!

Let’s look at 1 Corinthians 12:23, another verse that is used to encourage women to cover up.

and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty (1 Corinthians 12:23)

Context at the book level: 1 Corinthians is the first of two letters recorded in the bible that Paul wrote to the church in Corinth. Like all his letters to individual churches, Paul is addressing specific issues that the church is dealing with. In the chapters surrounding chapter 12, Paul is addressing the way believers are to worship and function together.

Context at the chapter level: The focus of chapter 12 is on spiritual gifts. The problem in Corinth was that the church felt that some Christians had better, more important gifts than other Christians. This was causing disunity because the church was focusing its attention and honor on the public gifts like teaching and prophecy. But what about the other gifts? In 1 Corinthians 12:4-7, Paul explains how the church should be thinking about spiritual gifts.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. (1 Corinthians 12:4-7)

After Paul explains that all gifts are given by the same Spirit for the same purpose of the common good of the church, Paul describes the church as a body. 

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. (1 Corinthians 12:12)

Paul then goes on to explain how it undermines the functioning of the body when some body parts decide they are worthless because they are not body parts that are considered more important and more comely/beautiful. For example, the foot feels worthless because it is not the hand and the ear feels worthless because it is not an eye. But Paul explains that all parts of the body are integral to the functioning of the body. He also explains that there would be no body if all members were the same body part.

Then Paul switches from addressing the ones who feel worthless to the ones who are acting superior to the others based on the gifts they were given.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” (1 Corinthians 12:21)

At the end of the chapter, Paul lists a number of spiritual gifts and reminds the church that they need all gifts; they cannot all have the same gift.

Context at the verse level: After comforting the Christians who feel worthless and correcting the Christians who are acting superior, Paul tells the church that they should actually be giving more honor to less presentable gifts, the gifts that are often overlooked. This is where verse 23 comes in:

On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty (1 Corinthians 12:22)

So what are the unpresentable parts? Are they literal privates on a human body? Is Paul saying in this chapter that we need to cover boobs and butts? No.

First, we have to understand that Paul is describing a figurative body with the body parts representing the gifts of the believers in the church. The more presentable gifts are gifts like prophecy. Prophecy is exciting, it is easily heard and seen, it invites conversation. The gifts of service are less presentable. Cleaning bathrooms is not exciting, it can be dirty, sweaty work. But both of these functions are vital to the functioning of the church. Paul is saying that each gift is just as important as all the others. If one part of a physical body stops functioning, the whole body suffers. In the same way, if one gift is not being utilized, the church will not function well.

Paul also says that the church needs to give more honor and more attention to the gifts considered unpresentable and less honorable because the gifts that seem to be weaker are indispensable.

On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty (1 Corinthians 12:22)

The word translated “unpresentable” in English is from the Greek word “aschēmona”. This word better translates as unseemly, indecent, or uncomely as in “your feet are unseemly, please keep your shoes on.” 

The word translated “modesty” in English is from the Greek word “euschēmosynēn” . This word means decorum or elegance.

So what Paul is literally saying in verse 23 is that the church needs to bestow more honor on the less honorable gifts and to make the unseemly gifts more elegant.

Note that the translation we have used so far is the ESV translation. However, the NASB actually translates this verse closer to the Greek meaning of the words: 

and those parts of the body which we consider less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor, and our less presentable parts become much more presentable (1 Corinthians 12:23, NASB)

Paul is not describing some gifts as private parts that need to be made more presentable. Paul is describing some gifts that are easily overlooked that need to be brought to the attention of others. He is certainly not telling the church to hide certain gifts away. We know based on the context of the chapter that Paul wants all gifts to be treated equally or even to have the overlooked gifts given extra honor because the other gifts do not need the extra attention. If we were to apply this to a literal body (we can’t, but more on that in the next paragraph), Paul would actually be telling us to take our indecent parts and show them more honor and attention. Paul would be telling us to make our private parts public. Be careful what text you take out of context!

The second major issue with taking this text and applying it to the conversation on modesty is that this text is figurative. To take a figurative text and apply it literally is to take God’s word out of context. We simply cannot take a text that describes the body of the church and then pretend that Paul is talking about sexual parts of an actual body.  Paul is not describing covering up boobs and butts. 

Let us be very clear. This passage has nothing to do with modesty.

What the Bible Says about Lust

The common teaching that, “women should dress modestly for the sake of Christian men, to keep them from stumbling” stands on two legs: first that women need to dress a certain way to be honoring God and second that women need to choose clothing with men’s tendency to lust in mind. The first leg of this cannot stand based on scripture since the Bible does not give a woman instruction on what to wear or how much of her body to cover.  But does the second half of this teaching hold water? Is it a woman’s responsibility to keep Christian men from stumbling? This second leg actually breaks down into two sections: first, can one believer keep another believer from sinning, and second, can a believer accidently lust?

Can someone accidently lust? No. Lust is always intentional, and when God addresses lust, he addresses the person lusting not the object of the person’s lust.

Very often, when the Old Testament is talking about lust, it is talking about Israel lusting after the gods of other nations (for example Ezekiel 23). It is a poetic way of looking at Israel’s sins and prophesying her ultimate captivity. Israel sought after and coveted things that were not of God throughout her entire history. In these Old Testament scriptures, the words translated lust are describing wanting something they can’t have. Sometimes the word (agab) is translated lust, sometimes greed. Sometimes the women Oholah (Samaria) and Oholibah (Jerusalem) in Eziekel 23:4 are engaging in very sexual actions with their lovers. But the rebuke and the ultimate demise is coming to Israel, not the things/gods/nations she is lusting after. She is the one responsible for her own lust.

The New Testament handles lust the same way, except the person lusting is no longer a personified nation. But to lust is still to desire something that God is not giving. Matthew 5:28 says:

Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28) 

Here the person looked at the woman with desire. He lusted after her, and Jesus holds him responsible.

It is important to pay attention to the grammatical structure. The word “lustfully” in English is actually a combination of words in Greek: pros to epithymesai (from epithumeo: to desire or lust after). The verb in this sentence is an active verb, which means that the subject of this sentence is the one acting out the verb. The opposite of this is a passive verb. This is used when something is happening to the subject. For example:

Verb Type	Sentence	Root Verb
Active	The dog ate the food.	To eat
Passive	The food was eaten.	To eat
Active	The man lusted.	To lust
Passive	The woman was lusted after.	To lust

Lust is not happening to the man, he is actively lusting. On top of that, the Greek word pros means moving toward a goal or destination. So the man is literally moving toward the goal of lusting after the woman. This is why it makes sense for Jesus to say that to lust after a woman is to commit adultery with her. A man does not accidently have sex with another man’s wife. In the same way, a man does not accidentally lust after a woman. 

We think it is important to make a distinction between getting aroused and lusting. Arousal is when someone is sexually stimulated. People can be stimulated by any number of things (not just visual). Both men and women get aroused. This is the way God created our bodies, to be excited sexually so that we can express ourselves sexually. The God given place for this expression is in marriage. But the initial stimulation that men and women experience is involuntary. It happens to them. To lust is different. To lust means to intentionally think about or fantasize about someone. This is sin. Arousal is not lust and arousal is not sin.

Lust does not happen to someone. There should not be a fear that a man will accidentally commit adultery simply by seeing a woman, even if she has a lot of skin exposed. 

Just in case you think we cherry picked the Matthew 5:28 verse, let’s examine other verses in scripture dealing with lust:

Put to death [nekrosate - active verb] therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. (Colossians 3:5)

The person who lusts in his heart is told to put the lust to death because it is idolatry. We never accidently worship an idol, we never accidently covet a neighbor’s things, we never accidently have sex with someone, and we never accidently lust.

I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness. (Proverbs 7:7-9)

Even Proverbs 7, which vividly describes an adulterous woman, begins with the man taking the road to her house. The man is purposefully taking the road to her house, the road to sin.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-6)

The person addressed in this verse is being told “if you want to grow in sanctification, the responsibility is on you. And if you don’t take on this responsibility, it hurts your brother or sister and God avenges this.” If a man lusts after a woman, the man is sinning against the woman. Unfortunately, women often hear the opposite: that they are causing a man to sin. 

All of the scriptures addressing lust have to do with the heart of the one lusting. All correction goes to the heart of the one lusting. The person being lusted after is not mentioned, much less addressed.

What the Bible Says about Stumbling a Brother

In order to know whether a person can stumble another into sin, we first need to understand the definition of stumbling. Let’s look at where it appears in the Bible.

And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. (Luke 17:1-2)

This is often joined with Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 8. These verses are often used to tell women that they themselves are stumbling blocks for men, or even the millstones. Therefore, out of concern for our brothers, we should cover up. 

Can a woman, just by nature of being a woman, be the stumbling block that Jesus is talking about? Can we say “Cleavage is sure to come, but woe to the woman by which it comes?” No.

The problem is, we are losing something in the English translations. In the Greek text, the stumbling is done with intent and it always has to do with tempting someone away from salvation, not tempting into a particular sin.

Three of the four gospels tell this story. In each of the three gospels, this story is nestled inside of Jesus’ teaching on the kingdom of heaven and salvation. The stumbling block that Jesus is talking about has to do with things that would keep a person from being saved. Jesus himself is referred to as a stumbling block (the same Greek word) in 1 Peter 2:8. How can Jesus who is sinless be a stumbling block? Because Jesus is the way to salvation. However, when some people discover that they must surrender to Jesus in order to be saved, they walk away. They don’t want Jesus as the way to be saved. So in this case, Jesus becomes the stumbling block. 

Here are some examples of stumbling people:

The stumbling block	Their message	The effect
Jesus	come to salvation through me or else you cannot come	Jesus is effectually stumbling away from salvation the people who do not want him
People	be circumcised, or else you cannot come to faith (Galatians 2)	Christians are effectually stumbling away from salvation the people who want to be saved but are not circumcised
People	come dressed a certain way or else you cannot be a real Christian	Christians are effectually stumbling away from salvation the people who want to be saved but do not dress the same way as others.

First, when we say that the stumbling block is about lust, we minimize what is being said here. The woman being lusted after is not a stumbling block. She is not intentionally stumbling people away from salvation. To say that a man’s choice not to control his own thoughts makes a woman a stumbling block totally undermines the definition of stumbling that God put forth in his word.

Second, to say that a woman is a stumbling block simply by virtue of being a woman, also undermines God’s design. Consider Genesis 1:27 which says “so God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female, he created them.”  Women are made just as much in the image of God as men. Are we willing to say that not only did God intentionally design women as a stumbling block for men’s lust but also that God made this stumbling block in his own image?  Did God make women in order to tempt men? James 1:13-14 says:

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. (James 1:13-14)

A woman’s body, just by virtue of being a female body, cannot be a stumbling block. Men are lured and enticed by their own desires, and their desires attempt to corrupt something beautiful made in the image of God. No one who lusts can assign guilt to a woman, made in the image of God, as the source of their sin. Logically, this does not make sense.

So are we saying a woman cannot sin sexually? Of course not. A woman can choose to be seductive when she comes with “crafty intent” in her heart like the woman in Proverbs 7. But remember, a stumbling block specifically blocks someone from salvation. So yes, we can say this woman is sinning, but we cannot say she is a stumbling block. But more on this later. For now, we have a few more verses on stumbling blocks to look at.

In Romans chapter 14, Paul discusses in length how Christians are to give up their rights to certain foods in order to keep their brothers from stumbling. This letter was written to the Roman church only a few decades after Christ’s resurrection. The Christian church was very young and was attempting to integrate Christians who were previously Jews holding to ceremonial laws and Christians who were previously pagans holding to gentile traditions. This passage is used all the time, not just about modesty, but about drinking, dancing, ect. However, as we look at this passage in context, try to suspend these preconceptions. 

Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:13-23)

When interpreting this passage for modern situations, we are often told the verses mean something along the lines of: if a man is an alcoholic, serving alcohol in front of him is a stumbling block. Or it is interpreted to mean: if a man lusts, wearing revealing clothing in his presence would be a stumbling block. This is another very misunderstood passage. Actually, in order to translate this passage in this way requires a twisting and contortion of the Word.

First, the fact that this is a new church trying to integrate Christians with very different backgrounds is very important. Paul is telling Christians to give up the right to eat food that was considered ceremonially unclean in the Jewish tradition. Why? Because of how it is affecting their fellow believers. Essentially, the Christians who understood that they were allowed to eat unclean foods were flaunting this in front of fellow believers who did not understand that this food was now considered clean. Prior to Jesus ushering in the new covenant, eating unclean food made that person unclean. And an unclean person could not remain unclean and be part of the nation of God. To live an unclean life, meant no salvation. So imagine these believers, they are just a few years into a whole new way of thinking about and interacting with God. They have not yet shed their old way of thinking. Many still believe that they need to follow the Mosaic rules.  Now there are traditionally unclean gentiles eating traditionally unclean foods and claiming they are free to do so under the new law. They are indeed free to do this. But to many of the Jews, this is not how the true God was worshiped and there was potential for the free Christians to drive the Jews away from Jesus. 

The stumbling block	Their message	The effect
People	Eat this traditionally unclean food because a good Christian knows he is free to do so	Christians are effectually stumbling away from salvation the people who want to be saved but are not ready to eat unclean food

Just as Jesus was talking about stumbling someone away from salvation as recorded in the gospels, Paul is too. Paul is talking to believers who are split between the freedom of the new covenant and the mosaic laws of the old covenant.

Second, it is important to really think about the logic of this passage. Paul is telling the first group to stop eating certain food because the second group considers the food unclean. There is no sin being described here. Eating food is not sin. Being gluttonous is sin. But gluttony is never described here. If Paul’s argument was transcribed to clothing exactly as he speaks to food, he would be telling the first group of us to stop wearing certain clothes because the second group considers it unclean. Wearing clothes is not sin. Paul is not describing sin. Lusting is sin. But to add lust to an argument that never included sin in the first place is to twist the word of God.

Paul is talking about putting an obstacle in the way of a person that keeps them from God. In this moment in history, the obstacle that was keeping people away from salvation was food that was traditionally unclean. But in our day and age, we do not view some foods as unclean and some as clean. Food does not drive us from salvation. Even giving an alcoholic alcohol, would not stumble him in the biblical sense of the word because though it might tempt him to sin, it would not drive him away from salvation. This would of course still be a wrong thing to do. But it would be wrong because it is unloving, not because it is stumbling.

So do these verses apply to clothing at all? They apply only if we require people to dress a certain way to be good Christians. If we say, a good Christian woman never reveals her shoulders, then we are creating a stumbling block for that woman. We are telling her that in order to be welcome at church she has to wear certain approved clothing, and this has the potential to drive her away from God. Let us be very clear: If you tell a woman that to honor God she must wear certain clothes or refrain from other clothes, you are putting a stumbling block in the way of that woman. You are saying that to be a true Christian, she needs both God and the right clothes. And the Bible says a person only needs God to be saved. People so often wrongly assign the stumbling to the woman with the spaghetti straps. In reality, the stumbling is coming from the person pointing at the woman in spaghetti straps.

Now let’s look at the similar but slightly different passage found in 1 Corinthians. In 1 Corinthians chapter 8, Paul explains why free Christians should give up their rights to eat food sacrificed to idols in order to keep their brothers from stumbling. This letter was written to the church in Corinth around the same time Paul wrote his letter to the Roman church. In this case, the issue being discussed is whether or not it is appropriate to eat food that was sacrificed to idols, to pagan gods.

Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God. Therefore, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that “an idol has no real existence,” and that “there is no God but one.” For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods'' and many “lords”— yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist. However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble. (1 Corinthians 8:1-13)

In many religious practices, including the Old Testament Jewish tradition, eating food sacrificed to a deity was considered one way to worship that deity. Paul is telling Christians not to feed into this idea. Why? Because there was also the potential for people without “knowledge” to be led to believe that other gods existed and in so doing reject Christ as their savior. Because eating meat sacrificed to idols was part of pagan ritual worship, when Christians were eating the food sacrificed to the gods in the temples of the gods, it appeared to people that it was appropriate for Christians to both worship Jesus and pagan gods. 

Just like in Romans, Paul is trying to protect the early church from danger. It would be easy for people to be drawn away from Jesus if they think they do not have to submit to him as their one and only God. Either they thought they could worship Jesus sometimes and pagan gods other times, or through the practice of eating sacrificed meat at the temples, they had led people to think they did not have to fully leave their pagan religion. This is the exact folly that led to the destruction of Israel in the Old Testament. This is what stumbling someone means. It is not drinking alcohol in front of an alcoholic. And it isn’t wearing tight clothing in front of a man.

The stumbling block	Their message	The effect
People	Eat this food that was sacrificed to “other gods” because a good Christian knows he is free to do so	Christians are effectually stumbling away from salvation the people who want to be saved but are either not ready to eat food sacrificed to idols or are led to believe they are communing with pagan deities

When someone says that a woman’s godliness is based on her clothes, this person is laying down a stumbling block. It is a hindrance on her walk with God. The woman cannot be a stumbling block in this context because the source of the lust is the man’s desires, not the woman. To lay a stumbling block before the lustful man would be to say something like “you always have to divert your eyes away from women, never be alone with a woman, ect or you are not a godly man”. That would make man-made rules and applications appear the same as God’s law. That certainly has the potential to drive some from salvation.

To sum up what a stumbling block is: A stumbling block is something that you have to go through to get to God. Jesus is the only appropriate stumbling block, anything else is something man-made and is totally inappropriate. This is why Jesus warns people not to put obstacles in the way of people trying to reach God.

The Logical Inconsistencies

Again, we would summarize the typical teaching on modesty to be: Women should dress modestly for the sake of Christian men, to keep them from stumbling. 

A similar argument is: because men struggle with lust, it is unloving of women to dress immodestly. 

According to both arguments, the way to protect men is to make sure women dress modestly. So the logical question is: how should women dress in order to be loving? To make sure that no man can lust after her?

What if we make sure a woman’s bra doesn’t show through her clothes or the straps peak out under her clothes? This is a common rule. The idea is that if we don’t remind men that women have boobs, then there is nothing that would cause a man to think about her sexually, right? Wrong. 

What if a woman covers everything but her face? Would that protect the men from lust? No. Lustful fantasies often include imagining removing a woman’s clothes. Also, the woman in Proverbs was alluring through her eyelashes, so keeping the face uncovered doesn’t fix that.

What if we agree that women don’t have to wear full body coverings and instead that she just needs to make sure she covers her cleavage and doesn’t wear anything tight over her butt? But many men are drawn to more than just cleavage and butts. A man’s fantasies can focus on a woman’s proportions, her height, her hair, her lips, her eye shape, her feet, ect. Men do not all have the same fantasies.

But wait! If men are all different, how are we to make sure no woman ever lets a man lust after her? How do women make sure to cover up enough so that men do not ogle their body parts and also make sure no man is imaging undressing them? The really scary thing is, if any man does lust, it is to your shame, women (according to so many Christian leaders). 

Logically, this makes no sense.

This teaching is also counterproductive. The Bible teaches Christians to focus on their hearts instead of their appearance. But by hyper focusing on what we (and other women) are wearing, we are actually still focusing on appearances instead of on our hearts.

Another logical inconsistency is the gendering of lust. By focusing almost exclusively on lusters being male, we fail to recognize that females lust too. Sometimes, women are even led to think there is something especially sinful about them when they realize that they are sinning in this way. But there’s nothing especially sinful about women who struggle with lust, this is the common condition of humans. God made us to enjoy and desire sex, but our sin can easily contort that good desire into sinful lust. This is true for both men and women.

By focusing almost exclusively on immodest people being women, we fail to recognize that males can struggle with the pride of appearances as much as women. Wily hearts are not just something women struggle with, men also can choose to attract attention to themselves. Just as this is wrong for women because it is sin originating in their hearts, it is wrong for men’s hearts as well.

By focusing on women being immodest and men lusting after them, we fail to recognize same sex attraction. Regardless of how you view same sex attraction, if keeping men from lusting is the goal, and the person wearing the clothes bears some responsibility for that, then it follows that men should also be dressing in very particular ways to protect the other men around them who many find them attractive. Logically, shouldn’t we be protecting all men?

Finally, in nearly every other type of sin, we are told that we are responsible for our own hearts. But in this type of sin we put the responsibility on other people

The Common Teaching

We’ve heard from a lot of people defending purity culture that the concept of women being responsible for men’s lust is not what is really being taught by Christian leaders. They assume it grew organically out of church culture. So in this next section, we are going to look at specific teachings from prominent Christian authors and speak to their arguments directly. 

Our hope is also that by showing you how we break apart these arguments, you will be able to do this on your own next time you hear or read something similar.

First, let’s look at a particular passage of CJ Mahaney’s 5 part series on modesty. It is a good example of well intentioned instruction that is instead quite harmful. In this section, Mahaney is quoting a young man in college as he describes his problem with lust. The last line of this quote is from Mahaney. As you read, notice that even though the man has a problem with lust, the responsibility for his sin is put on the women. 

I hope their struggles and temptations — which are not unique, but common to men — will motivate you to pursue modesty and self-control for the sake of your brothers in Christ. First, a day in the life of a college student pursuing purity:

Each and every day on campus is a battle. A battle against my sin, a battle against temptation, a battle against my depraved mind. Every morning I have to cry out for mercy, strength, and a renewed conviction to flee youthful lust. The Spirit is faithful to bring me the renewal I need and to prepare me to do war against my sin, yet temptations still exist.

I’m thankful God has created me to be attracted to women. However, campus is a loaded minefield. There are girls everywhere, and it is guaranteed that I will pass some attractive girls as I walk in between classes. To make it through the day unscathed, I either have to be actively engaging my mind and spirit in praying, quoting Scripture, listening to worship music, or looking at the sidewalk. Many days it takes all four to be safe. . . .

The thing that women do not seem to fully grasp is that the temptation toward lust does not stop. It is continual. It is aggressive. And it does all it can to lead men down to death. And women have a choice to help or deter the goal and purpose of lust. Sometimes when I see a girl provocatively dressed, I’ll say to myself, “She probably doesn’t even know that 101 guys are going to devour her in their minds today. But then again, maybe she does.” To be honest, I don’t know the truth, the truth of why she chooses to dress the way she does, the way she chooses to walk, the way she chooses to act. I don’t know because I’ve never sat down with a girl and asked why. All I need to know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait for my sinful mind to latch onto and I need to avoid it at all costs.

For the most part, the church serves as a sanctuary from the continual barrage of temptation toward sin. However, the church’s members are not yet free from sin, and there are girls who are ignorant and unaware of men’s sinful tendencies.

I must confess that even church can have several mines scattered about. To the girls who are ignorant, please serve your brother in Christ and have your dad screen your wardrobe. Ask your dad how you can better choose holiness over worldliness. He’s a guy, and he knows more than you on the issue.

And to the girls who don’t follow the pattern of the world: thank you. Thank you a million times over. You are following Scripture’s commands, and you are helping your brothers in the process.

[Mahaney:] I commend this young man’s tenacious fight for holiness. And I echo his gratitude to all women who choose to dress modestly—thank you a million times over. You’re truly serving your brothers in Christ by your obedience to God’s Word.

“God, My Heart, and Clothes, Part 3 | CJ’s View from the Cheap Seats.” Cjmahaney.Com, www.cjmahaney.com/blog/god-my-heart-and-clothes-part-3. Accessed 3 Mar. 2022.

There are two major issues with this:

First, the man is being commended for noticing his battle with lust but trying to get someone else to change to make things easier for him. Instead of commending this man’s inaction, Mahaney should have put the responsibility for dealing with lust squarely on the shoulders of the young man. How is it loving to reinforce the young man’s idea that women have to dress differently for him to meet his weaknesses? How is asking Christian sisters to dress differently going to help him interact with the broader world outside of his church? This is a real deficit of instruction for this man. It is indeed commendable that he recognizes the lust in his heart, but he needs to be brought to scripture to see what the Bible says about this. Is the man taking control of his own thoughts and evaluating what he is doing with his eyes and his hands? The message is “the men are going to struggle with this so women need to change what they are wearing” instead of “the men are going to struggle with this so how do we equip the men to fight this battle?.” What does this young man need to stop watching, stop doing, stop thinking?

Second, women are being accused of being the cause for someone else’s sin which results in women taking on responsibility for something that is not their responsibility. Women are being told that in order to be godly, they need to carry the burden of dealing with men’s lust, when in fact, God never gives women this burden. Men inadvertently are being released from the burden of dealing with their lust when in fact God has placed this on them.

We want to take a moment to look more in depth at a few particular sections of what Mahaney is commending. This is important because this tells us how Mahaney is defining modesty and what he is encouraging women to do. The following quote is from part 2 of the 5 part series on modesty. The quotes that follow are all breakdowns of the full quote listed above.

The women in the church should not look exactly like the ungodly, seductive women in the world. Women in the church are to be different. They should stand out not because of their revealing clothing but because of their distinctly modest heart and dress.

“God, My Heart, and Clothes, Part 3 | CJ’s View from the Cheap Seats.” Cjmahaney.Com, www.cjmahaney.com/blog/god-my-heart-and-clothes-part-2. Accessed 3 Mar. 2022.

There are many things wrong with this.

First, of course women are not supposed to be seductive. Seduction is an outward action that reveals the desires of a wily heart. Seduction is an action that can be initiated when wearing any type of clothing. A woman can be seductive if she is completely covered up. Seduction and clothing are two very different things. (Remember the Proverbs 7 woman?)

Second, what is meant by “the ungodly, seductive women of the world”? What world is being talked about here? Most women in the world are not walking around trying to be seductive. This implies that if a woman is not a Christian, she is seductive. This is an untrue and unhelpful message. Men are being told that all worldly women are out there trying to seduce him. This is not true. Believers and non-believers alike dress in similar ways and cover most of their bodies. You cannot look at the women in a grocery store and point out who is Christian and who is not based on clothing.

Third, women are told they need to stand out based on their distinctly modest dress. What is distinctly modest dress? This is implying that we are to look different by what we wear. How different is our clothing supposed to look? The Amish and the Muslims wear very distinct clothing as part of their faith. Is this what we are supposed to do? This statement is implying that there is a type of clothing that is distinctly Christian. There is not. It also implies that lust does not happen in the Amish and Muslim contexts. But it does. 

Scripture says that the world will know us by our character and our love, not by our modest clothing.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)

The Bible does not tell women to stand out for any reason except for their love.

This next section of of Mahaney’s series talks about the temptation to lust:

The thing that women do not seem to fully grasp is that the temptation toward lust does not stop. It is continual. It is aggressive. And it does all it can to lead men down to death. And women have a choice to help or deter the goal and purpose of lust. 

Here a man is admitting his struggle of lust. This is admirable. But after his admission of his struggle, the man rebukes the object of his lust, not his sinful heart. He is saying “I have a sin problem, I want women to do things differently so I’m not tempted instead of dealing with my own sin.”

This statement also makes the assumption that all men struggle with lust. This is just not the experience of every man. Lust is a sin. For some men, lust is not an aggressive temptation for them. All men sin, but not all men sin the same way. There are indeed men who are walking around who are not consumed by lust.

Imagine for a moment that Christians are sponges. When sponges sit on the counter, we can’t tell what kind of liquid is inside. It could be clean water, soapy water, watered down pasta sauce, milk, ect. In the same way, when we see Christians, we cannot tell what kind of sin is in their heart. But if we squeeze the sponge, we will then be able to see and feel what kind of liquid was inside. A temptation is like squeezing the sponge. When a Christian is tempted to sin, he is like the sponge being squeezed, and out will come the true contents of his heart. If a woman walks by a man with lust in his heart, lustful thoughts will come out. If a woman walks by a man with a pure heart, pure thoughts will come out. But both lust and purity were already rooted in the man’s heart. The woman does not have the choice to help or deter the contents of a man’s heart.

The young man also personifies lust here as having its own goals and purposes. Lust is a sin, it is not a force acting on the man. The man is never the passive recipient of the goals of lust. If a man lusts, it is because he is actively choosing to participate in lust. Lust doesn’t happen to him, lust comes from him.

Sometimes when I see a girl provocatively dressed, I’ll say to myself, “She probably doesn’t even know that 101 guys are going to devour her in their minds today. But then again, maybe she does.” To be honest, I don’t know the truth, the truth of why she chooses to dress the way she does, the way she chooses to walk, the way she chooses to act. I don’t know because I’ve never sat down with a girl and asked why.

First, a woman does not have to be provocatively dressed in order to be devoured in the minds of men. The problem, again, is the man who does not have control of his own mind. But for the most part, women really are not dressing for men!

Second, it is interesting that he does not know why a woman dresses the way she dresses. If he knows this particular woman is a believer, a sister in Lord, who is truly acting provocatively (remember, dressing provocatively is an opinion) and trying to manipulate someone, he should, out of love, go draw her out about the intentions of her heart.

If this particular woman is not a believer, then having all his Christian sisters all covered to the level of his preference is going to do nothing for him because the moment he steps outside of the walls of the church building, he will once again be confronted with the unchecked lust in his heart. 

The point is, this is HIS HEART. If he is working on his heart, and dealing with his own lust, then he can be in situations with women and not lust. But if he is just looking for that perfect situation where everything is nice and easy, it is not going to happen until maybe heaven.

All I need to know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait for my sinful mind to latch onto and I need to avoid it at all costs.

Maybe this man really does need to avoid women at all costs. This brings us back to Jesus’s remark about gouging out the lustful eye and cutting off the hand. Jesus tells us to take extreme action when necessary to combat our inclinations to give in to temptation. This man needs to do what he needs to do in order to combat his own sin. Jesus commands radial action on the part of the sinner.

Imagine for a moment that a man in the church congregation struggled with anger. What would it look like if the church leaders dealt with the man’s struggle like the leaders deal with lust? The counsel from the Christian leaders would be “speak softly to him, never contradict or correct him, make a pleasant expression so he doesn’t think you are upset with him, don’t make him angry”. This would be ridiculous. We know that anger comes from our own heart and that someone else cannot make us angry. Anger is our own sinful reaction to what is happening. What the leaders should do instead is tell the man he needs to have self control and deal with his own anger. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:31-32 that a man who is angry is to put off his anger and be kind and compassionate instead. In the same way, the man who lusts needs to be told to lust no more, to stop seeing other people as objects for their own pleasure and instead see them as sisters and brothers made in the image of God who should be honored and respected. If this logic applies to stealing, why does it not apply to lust?

For the most part, the church serves as a sanctuary from the continual barrage of temptation toward sin. However, the church’s members are not yet free from sin, and there are girls who are ignorant and unaware of men’s sinful tendencies.

Where in the Bible does it say that the church is to be a sanctuary from temptation? A church is to be a place that an unbelieving women can visit. Should we turn away unbelievers who come looking for God because it might be a struggle for the men of the church. This would be putting a stumbling block in the way of those seeking God. And Jesus says it would be better that the one creating the stumbling block be thrown into the sea with a millstone around his neck. The Pharisees were horrified when Jesus allowed Mary, a well known prostitute, to wash his feet. Jesus did not tell her to change her clothes, or unbraid her hair, Jesus said leave her alone. He welcomed those who came to him, no matter who they were or what they had done. 

It is not the purpose of Christ’s church to be a sanctuary from the continual barrage of temptation. Every person in a church is a sinner. All sinners struggle with some kind of temptation every day! Christians are not free from ANY sins. Church is not a sanctuary from temptation or sin, it is a place to get help, find fellowship, pray with others, and live life with loving brothers and sisters that help us see our blind spots. But free from the barrage of sin? Show me that in the Bible.

I must confess that even church can have several mines scattered about. To the girls who are ignorant, please serve your brother in Christ and have your dad screen your wardrobe. Ask your dad how you can better choose holiness over worldliness. He’s a guy, and he knows more than you on the issue.

This quote really gets to the heart of what’s wrong with the teaching on modesty. Choosing holiness is a heart issue not a clothes issue. The man is the one who needs to be choosing holiness because it is his heart that is sinning. 

It is also important to note that this man is telling girls to change their hearts. He wants them to choose holiness over worldliness. But how does he say they do this? He tells her to change her clothes. This does not address her heart! If he is truly concerned about the spiritual wellbeing of these ladies, he needs to be asking what is at the heart of her choices. But we cannot just slap on another layer of clothes and say “now she’s holy!”

And to the girls who don’t follow the pattern of the world: thank you. Thank you a million times over. You are following Scripture’s commands, and you are helping your brothers in the process.

Hopefully this comment makes you ask: what commands? As we have addressed, the biblical commands for a woman (as to all Christians) is for her heart to honor God. She is commanded not to go out with a heart full of sinful intent. There are no commands for her clothes.

If any man cannot be around a woman without sinning against her, unless she is wearing clothing that he subjectively considers modest, he is a weak man. God’s command to us all is to do battle with the sin in our hearts, to root it out, and destroy it. If a man is in this position, it is his God given command to fight his sin. But instead, the man in this article, is asking everyone around him to change for him so that he doesn’t sin. That is no battle. That is a surrender. 

The next quote is CJ Mahaney’s response to the what the young man has been saying: 

I commend this young man’s tenacious fight for holiness. And I echo his gratitude to all women who choose to dress modestly—thank you a million times over. You’re truly serving your brothers in Christ by your obedience to God’s Word.

This is not a tenacious fight for holiness. Instead of taking radical action against sin, as Jesus commands, this man is asking everyone else to change so he can be holy. Again, this is not addressing the sin rooted in his own heart! Sanctification is the process of making the heart holier. So if the young man’s heart is not being challenged to change because everyone around him is changing, then his heart is not growing in holiness. This is not the kind of man who should be commended. He is blame shifting, unable to have self-control, and needs to have external controls. This way of living is lacking in maturity and wisdom.

A commendable man who struggles with lust, takes the responsibility on himself before God and does not blame anyone else as he works to change.

We are now going to look at a quote from Doug Wilson, a leader in content created for reformed evangelicals.

The Bible teaches that women should be covered up, and not too tightly either (Matt. 5:28)

Wilson, Douglas. Her Hand in Marriage: Biblical Courtship in the Modern World. Canon Press, 1997. p.48

Whenever a teacher uses scripture, it is important for us to look at the Word as well and evaluate whether the teacher is using the scripture correctly. Matthew 5:28 says:

but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28, NASB)

This verse, indeed this whole passage, says nothing about the woman or what she is wearing other than to tell us that this woman is the object of a man’s sin. There is nothing here that teaches that women should be covered up. There is nothing here that teaches that women should not be covered up too tightly. All of Wilson’s claims about this verse are false.

If we continue to read the biblical passage that Wilson quoted, we will find that Matthew 5:29 says:

If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. (Matthew 5:29, NASB)

Notice that Jesus says if your eye makes you stumble, tear it out. Jesus puts the responsibility of lust on the person who is lusting. Jesus does not say if your eyes make you stumble, make the women dress differently. Wilson has completely changed the meaning of this passage to fit his message. This is why it is so important to look at the scriptures for yourself. Sometimes our teachers misuse the Word of God. His use of the scripture is so off base that he could have used Matthew 6:16 for all that it applies to his claim.

The next two quotes are from a book written by both Carolyn Mahaney and her daughter Nicole Mahaney Whitacre. Carolyn has written many books and articles and has spoken at many conferences geared for evangelical women.

Now adorning ourselves with “respectable apparel” doesn’t mean we need to raid our grandmother’s closet. Paul is instructing the women to stay away from clothing and accessories that are extravagant, showy, revealing, or sexually enticing. He is encouraging restraint and moderation in dress for the purpose of purity.

Mahaney, Carolyn, and Nicole Mahaney Whitacre. Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood. Crossway, 2005. p.139

This quote is talking about the verse that we discussed at length earlier, 1 Timothy 2:9. Again, whenever a teacher quotes scripture, we must look at the scripture for ourselves. 1 Timothy 2:9 says:

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or expensive apparel (1 Timothy 2:9, NASB)

The authors start in a good direction when they explain what Paul is instructing, but then they take a turn away from the text. Paul is certainly instructing the women to stay away from extravagance by telling the women to dress discreetly without expensive apparel. But the authors also claim that Paul is telling the women not to wear anything revealing or sexually enticing. But Paul does not say this. The authors are claiming something that is not in scripture. They are adding things to scripture to fit their idea of modesty. This is wrong. We should never alter the Word of God to say what we want, but rather we should let the Word of God shape us. The purpose of this passage in 1 Timothy is humility, not sexual purity.

I’m not saying that we are solely to blame for male lust. But as Richard Baxter (writing 400 years ago) so aptly put it: You must not lay a stumbling-block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust… You must walk among sinful persons, as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder; or else you may see the flame which you did not foresee, when it is too late to quench it

Mahaney, Carolyn, and Nicole Mahaney Whitacre. Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood. Crossway, 2005. p.141

It is incorrect to say that that women aren’t solely to blame for male lust; women are not to blame at all. The sin is originating from inside heart of the man. Lust is not happening to him without his intention.

The quote from Richard Baxter used in Girl Talk is an analogy used to explain how women, based on how they are dressed, can walk through life and then poof, suddenly set men aflame. Even if we pretend it is true that women can cause these flames to ignite, how can a woman possibly dress so as to never light any men on fire? God never tells women to walk timidly around men, afraid that at any moment the man might be filled with lust. No, what we should say is we know that men can easily be lit on fire so let us equip men with a fire extinguisher for their own hearts.

The last quote we will look at is from Albert Mohler, the president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

The question then comes, “What kind of clothing is allowable? What kind of clothing is not allowable?” Well, if you’re following the logic that we see here in 1 Corinthians chapter 12, the clothing we should wear should not be clothing that would bring inappropriate, immodest attention to what are those unpresentable parts, those private parts. That would seem to be a fairly noncontroversial reading of the biblical text. Now, as we have to speak at least responsibly and candidly here, it is fairly easy to understand what are those unpresentable parts, those private parts when it comes to both men and women, males and females, boys and girls.

“PART I: The “leggings” controversy — Mom of four boys calls for modesty on campus: Why this biblical concept is now a controversial topic.” AlbertMohler.Com, 29 Mar. 2019, albertmohler.com/2019/03/29/briefing-3-29-19.

Although we appreciate the intention to be logical, Mohler’s argument is actually very controversial since he took a figurative text about the body of the church and applied it to the literal body of a woman. That’s taking God’s Word out of context and twisting its meaning. 

Again, whenever a teacher quotes scripture, we need to look at the Word for ourselves. Mohler is talking about 1 Corinthians 12:23 in particular: 

and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty (1 Corinthians 12:23)

First, the word translated modesty here is a misinterpretation of the word. You will only see the word “modesty” here in certain translations. So Mohler is building an argument based on an English translation, not the intention of the original Greek. Remember, the Greek word used here actually means decorum or elegance. If the Word had been translated correctly, Mohler’s argument would make no sense.

Second, at no point in 1 Corinthians 12 does Paul mention clothing. When he describes making the unpresentable gifts more presentable, more elegant, he is not describing hiding the gifts behind fabric. That is actually the opposite of what Paul is saying. In chapter 12, Paul is telling the Corinthians to give more attention to the unpresentable gifts, not cover them up. 

The Principle and the Application 

It is essential in understanding and applying scripture to know the difference between principles and applications. Biblical principles come from God and apply to all people regardless of who the person is and where in time they exit. Principles are universal. Applications are the way that those principles are applied to the lives of individuals, and the applications will vary from individual to individual, culture to culture, and era to era.

For example, “love your wife” is a biblical principle. All husbands are commanded to love their wives. For some husbands, one way they express love to their wives is to bring them flowers. But Bekah very much dislikes receiving flowers, so receiving them does not make her feel loved. One of the ways her husband expresses his love for her is to give her chocolate. Both gifts are valid applications of the same principle. When teaching on marriage, it is important that teachers focus on the universal biblical principles and avoid teaching specific applications as universal. If a teacher were to say that husbands show that they love their wives by bringing them flowers, the teacher would be mixing up the principle and the application. Applications are not universal, so the ways that the same biblical principle is applied can look very different for different people. We need to be so very careful not to mix these up.

To see another example of the difference between principle and application, check out this Couch Time example.

In the case of modesty/humility, the biblical principle and the applications have been all mixed up.

The principle is: We are to draw attention to God and not to ourselves.

The application of how each of us draws attention to God and not to ourselves will vary greatly depending on circumstance, situations, and individual people. This means that all of the “wardrobe checklists” might apply to you but not to another woman. Each woman’s wardrobe choices will depend on her own heart and conscience before God.

We must be able to wear our clothes with a clear conscience. But there isn’t, and has never been, a style/article of clothing that is expressly Christian nor any expressly forbidden. Any time someone says that a woman has to wear longer skirts or avoid certain shirts in order to honor God, they are elevating individual applications to the level of God’s principle.

Don’t Hear What We’re Not Saying

This section is to clarify our statements above by explaining what we are not saying.

What we are NOT saying: Don’t care about those that are weaker and go ahead and blatantly expose them to things that cause them to struggle.

What we are saying: We still need to care for the weaker among us. We care for specific people in our lives. If you think you can walk out into the world and never be lusted after based on clothing, that is naïve. We don’t know the struggles of each person we walk past. But obviously, if you are hanging out with someone who you know struggles in a particular area, you should be careful. But this is out of care for this individual in your life.

For example, if a friend of yours is afraid of dogs, you will likely put your dog in another room when this friend visits. But the act of owning a dog, and taking the dog out in public, is not forbidden because of this fearful friend.

What we are NOT saying: Let’s all wear our boobs out. 

What we are saying: Please stop telling women there is a “Christian” way to dress. There is not.

What we are NOT saying: Women can act any way they want around men.

What we are saying: If a man is lusting, that is completely his responsibility. Of course, a woman can be acting inappropriately (women are sinners too), but a man who has been trained properly by the Word is either going to address this or walk away. But if he chooses to give in to temptation and it turns to lust, that responsibility is totally on him.

What we are NOT saying: God does not care what we wear.

What we are saying: God does care about what we wear. Our hearts are responsible before Him for the choices that we make and the reasons that we make them. God does not want us to dress in extravagance. God wants us to make choices based on humility. This is why it is important to look at the motivations of the heart.  Our skin can be almost completely covered and yet we can still have a heart full of self focus and pride. When we evaluate ourselves before God, we must be evaluating our motivations behind our actions and choices. Once our motivations are aligned with God, everything else falls into place. 

But what is so freeing about scripture is that this is where your responsibility ends. You are not responsible for the sins of another human, even if it is a man sinning against you by imagining you naked.

Final Summary

In this final section, we are going to restate the arguments made in traditional teaching on modesty and our rebuttals.

The traditional teaching: Women should dress modestly for the sake of Christian men, to keep them from stumbling

“Women should dress modestly”

There is no instruction in the bible telling women what is considered modest clothing or how they are to dress. When the bible talks about modesty, it is talking about humility.

“For the sake of Christian men”

Caring for our brothers in Christ does not mean changing the clothing of Christian women so that a man doesn’t sin. Christian men are called to deal with their own sin.

“To keep them from stumbling”

First, we cannot accidentally make someone sin. Sin is an intentional choice based on a sin already rooted in a person’s heart.

Second, when the bible talks about stumbling someone, it is talking about stumbling someone away from salvation not stumbling someone into a particular temptation.